As the title suggests , I do have a mum who is post menopausal and a widow..
So, to begin with, the few, well, the very few pros:
1. She will be totally dependent and doting on you.. Coz, considering you are the only son, you get to enjoy immense independence, and as such if you are the owner of a huge property thingy, then you can always be the khandan ka kalank, and sell all and be happy and spoilt, coz mum wont mind a thing..
And well, thats about it.
Now, before the cons, lets first classify mums into two categories:
No.1: the stone blind and toothless variety.. Dealing with them is easy; Missionaries of Charity, Helpage India, or a nice push off the roof... Insurance would then be yours... MUHAHAHAHA!!!
No.2: The non-blind and toothed variety.. Most of the widowed mums in this age group are really into one -ism or the other.. My mum for instance, is in RamKrishnaism... so the pain begins from that focal point and spreads in your neck and ass regions.. to enumerate:
1. She wishes, tries and plots to indoctrinate you in her system of faith.. If you are a God fearing person, she wont go much far, but if you arent, woe betide!! I, for example, am an agnostic and that pisses her no end.. Needless to say, whenever I go home, i spend most of the time trying to keep her or me as busy as possible, coz otherwise i will be made to listen to her rantings on Swami Vivekanand and the likes..
2. Since you are the only son, she wil try to marry you off, even if you are not 18, or atleast try and get you to latch on to some gal or the other whom she likes.. My mum is intent on hooking me onto this brainless git who lives next door.. of course, she has tried to hook me to n no. of girls alreay.. She is already on the verge of settling down for any choice I make, as long as it walks on two legs...(ah! the bliss, i can finally keep the chimp i am having my.... well, not to be disclosed, PETA will lynch me)
3.Since you are (again) the only son, you will be made to listen to each and every petty happenings in your house when you are not there.. its ok if you go back home at the end of the day, but if you happen to live in the hostel like i do, then the proportion of torturous and tortuous details increase exponentially.. tearing out your hair seems such a relief.
4. this point is specially for the hostel walas.. whenever you return home from the hostel, she has a line up of gals she wants u to meet, and no, its not for rakhi, or as prospective patients (tho if they marry me, they will be)..
5. If your mum happens to be lazy along with the above stated preconditions, then be ready for a bathroom straight from hell.. coz she wont have touched the harpic when you were in the hostel..
6. She will have this blind variety of faith in you, and will persist on thinking taht you are the be-all-end-all of every difficulty, even though you might show her ample evidence to the contrary ( a bit like Pakistan, aint it?)
7. She will try to get things done herself and screw up horridly and then will end up telling you when the thing is beyond salvation.. If you end up salvaging it anyhow, welcome to point no.6
8. She has the tear glands under strict control, and whenever she starts to praise or talk about how someone in the colony/muhallah/galli/nukkad praised you, she will choke up and let loose the stream of maternal love and feeling... and in the next breath complain of shortage of water... as if!!
9. She will NEVER pay her bills... u will HAVE to do it.. Period.
10. She will die one day and then all this will be redundant, coz no matter what, you do end up loving her like your own daughter or something; being protective and careful all the time. I know i do..
Something else tomorrow, ciaos
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